My Positive Birth Story: Reflections on My Planned Caesarean

An honest account of my planned caesarean birth, from the decision through to delivery.

Before we dive in . . . a thank you for the warm welcome to Substack!

This chapter of life feels—and is—so new to me. Motherhood has changed the structure of every element of my life. As has my experience of Luca’s Achondroplasia diagnosis. I still feel like ‘me’. Just a different version. And coming back round to writing—the first medium I knew as a 2011 .blogspot.com gal—feels homely. 

Reflecting on my experience of motherhood thus far, is something I had thought I’d do much earlier. I saved optimistic ‘to-write lists’ from the past year, with notes on articles covering Luca’s first 3 . . . 6 . . . 9 months. 

Truth be told, only recently—as Luca’s just turned 1—have I felt in a good position to reflect. The daily demands of motherhood are—as I’ve found out—so high, that allocating time to reflect and write is a challenge in itself. Equally, having some distance from the heady early days . . . months . . . now year of motherhood has given me some perspective. 

I recall many people telling me a version of the same thing before Luca’s arrival: “it’s the best and hardest thing you’ll ever do”. I didn’t, maybe couldn’t, understand what they meant. But now, I get it. It’s been the very very best, and—at times—hardest of years.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt in the past year is that sharing this chapter of life—especially with other mums and parents—is a bonding experience like no other. A knowing nod, a hug, a “that sounds tough” gives light to testing times.

Equally, nobody will quite know the joy that comes with settling a colic-y baby, or moving through a teething phase, or celebrating a hard-won baby poo quite like a fellow parent-in-the-trenches.

NB: I’ll be sharing reflections on my first year of motherhood here on Substack, interspersed with sprinklings of fashion, interiors and other feel-good things. If baby stuff isn’t your vibe, I hope that the other articles on route will be more so!

I hope that in sharing my experience of pregnancy, Luca’s diagnosis and motherhood, it can help other mums, parents, and families navigating a similar chapter of life.

And so, we begin quite literally at the beginning. 

My Positive Planned Caesarean Birth Story

If you read my first Substack post, or you’re familiar with our family’s story, you’ll already know that my son Luca has Achondroplasia—the most common form of dwarfism. Luca’s Achondroplasia was diagnosed during my pregnancy, which I wrote about here.

As soon as Luca’s Achondroplasia diagnosis was confirmed, there was a gear shift.

The diagnosis had an impact on the care team around us, and also on my options for birth. Babies with Achondroplasia often have a large head circumference, which can make a vaginal delivery difficult. It was recommended that I consider a planned caesarean birth.

I surprised myself with how quickly I found comfort in this decision. Oli and I both agreed that a planned caesarean felt like the best option for our family.

The weeks of uncertainty, tests and heartache during Luca’s diagnosis were fraught. I felt relieved that the caesarean was something I could ‘plan’ for. 

Once we’d made a firm decision, it was time to ‘book’ Luca’s birth in. Truly, it was as casual as a restaurant reservation haha! Akin to a maître d’ running their finger down a bookings sheet, spotting a gap and asking if you could “make 7pm?”.

Luca’s due date was November 7th. We ended up ‘booking in’ for November 3rd, which coincidentally is also my sister’s birthday. My sister was my closest confidant during my pregnancy, especially during the diagnosis stage. Knowing that her and Luca would forever share a Birthday felt like a soul bond that was meant to be. 

As soon as we’d settled on a birth plan and birth date for Luca, I felt a sense of strength and calm. 

Preparing for the birth

Hypnobirthing for a planned caesarean

Though I was relieved at the ‘controlled’ element of booking in for a planned caesarean, I felt some sadness around it being a—what I then perceived to be, I no longer do—less ‘natural’ birth.

By some serendipitous algorithm magic, I stumbled upon Lauren Doffman, who’d not long had twin boys. In an Instagram post she shared that she’d worked with Helen Fairlie, of Born London, on hypnobirthing for a planned caesarean.

Helen is one of a few people who entered our lives post-diagnosis who I believe were truly ‘meant’ to be in our circle. I knew the moment I received Helen’s email, full of warmth, compassion and confidence, that I’d found the right person to help us prepare for Luca’s birth. 

You can read all about Helen’s course options here. Helen offers hypnobirthing courses for parents preparing for a vaginal birth, a caesarean birth, or parents in need of a ‘refresher’. 

Our course included two x two hour sessions with Helen via video call. The first was focused on the foundations of planning for a caesarean birth, the running order of the day, the operation itself and going over any fears I/we may have. We also touched on the ‘golden hour’ after birth. The second session was focused more on hypnobirthing techniques, visualisations and affirmations. During one visualisation I felt such a dramatic sense of ‘relief’, I ended up sobbing in ‘release’. I referred back to the visualisations and affirmations often in the lead up to welcoming Luca.

Working with Helen helped me to re-connect with my birth choice. Where it once felt like ‘the safest option’ for Luca and I both, sensible but more mechanical than I’d thought birth would be; working with Helen helped me to reframe Luca’s birth choice for the incredible, beautiful occasion it is.

On that note, a simple shift: Helen encouraged Oli and I to use the term ‘caesarean birth’, rather than ‘C section’ or ‘caesarean section’. This small shift of verbiage was empowering. However your baby enters the world is truly nothing short of a miracle.

Helen’s work felt like the bridge between the ‘natural’ birth I’d always envisaged, and the medical option which felt safest.

I credit my time with Helen, with reframing my anticipation of Luca’s birth. Something ‘clicked’ for me, and I begun to feel excited and confident in the lead up to it.

Such was our bond, Oli and I discussed inviting Helen to attend Luca’s birth. It’s a surreal invitation to send haha, but it felt ‘obvious’ to me and I received a swift reply from Helen with a resounding yes. As you’ll read, Helen was there on the day of Luca’s birth and it was nothing short of magical.

Fun update: as I hit ‘publish’ on this post, we’re freshly back from meeting Helen for brunch today! A forever bond 💗

Midwife and consultant care

From the very beginning, my pregnancy was under consultant care as I have a blood condition. The blood condition turned out not to be an issue, but it did mean that I had extra scans booked in for the latter stages of my pregnancy, which by chance is how Luca’s Achondroplasia was first flagged.

As I mentioned, once Luca’s diagnosis was confirmed, things shifted up a gear. 

From 28 weeks on I had a medical appointment of some kind, every few days. “We’ve got you” is a phrase I recall vividly from one of my early diagnoses appointments, and the promise very much came true. I felt that Luca’s arrival into the world was no longer something that just we as a family were anticipating. There was a whole team of people rooting for our baby boy.

Given Luca’s diagnosis, and the trauma of the process uncovering it, my mental health had taken a toll. I was made aware of a specialist midwifery team that deals with pregnancies in need more support. I put a request in to be transferred, and after a short while I met a new midwife—Katrina—who took over my case. 

Enter: the second kismet person to support Luca’s arrival. 

From this point onwards, all of my midwife appointments were at home with Katrina. Katrina got to know our family in our own environment, which gave her a sense of who we are and the home Luca would be welcomed into. More than anything, she gave me time and space to share my fears and ask questions. No appointments were rushed—they always involved a cup of tea and a chat—and Katrina quickly came to feel like—and ultimately became—a treasured friend. 

Katrina also attended Luca’s birth. I remember her communicating with us every step of the way on the day. Telling us what was going to happen next, when to change into our scrubs, reassuring me when I was scared . . . Oli and I both credit Katrina with guiding us through the whole process step-by-step. She ran the show! The caesarean—which felt so alien to us—was so familiar to her, and her confidence and experience carried us through the day. 

Immediately after Luca’s birth, when he was being checked over by the Drs, I recall Katrina squeezing my arm and saying “he’s gorgeous, Monica”. Knowing that Katrina was able to check on Luca, when I was still mid-operation, was a massive reassurance. I knew that Katrina, who I trusted so implicitly, had eyes on our baby.

Preparing for the birth: hospital bag, the night before, the morning of

I will preface this by saying we WAY overpacked haha.

We were told to expect some time in hospital after Luca’s arrival. This was to allow for initial tests to be done, and extra care given to Luca and I both. We were in hospital for 9 days total.

Given that we knew we’d be in for a while, we packed bags for Luca, myself and Oli. I’ll share a separate post on my hospital bag list—edited down!—but the best things we packed were:

For Luca

• zip up newborn baby grows, these from John Lewis are my favourite

For me

• miniature toiletries, these were gorgeous

• pillow mist, I love the Mauli Sleep Dharma Pillow Mist

• rechargeable fan, this one

• soft socks, I still wear these

• my own blanket

For Oli

• bedding

• eye mask (we got this two pack)

• extra long phone charger

The night before Luca’s birth, Oli and I shared a dinner at home. It was calm and intimate. As we went to bed, Oli took a few phone photos of me, grinning Cheshire cat style. The whole experience of birth was surreal, including going to sleep knowing that—all things being well—we’d be driving to hospital the following day to meet our son. 

The morning of, we woke up early and Oli blow dried my hair. This was such a luxury and one which I’m so grateful we made time for! I felt fresh are ‘ready’. NB: the blow dry held for the whole 9 days we were in hospital, with the help of dry shampoo! It was a small thing which helped me to feel put together . . . while wearing a hospital gown, and gauze knickers hahaha. 

As we drove to the hospital around 7am, the autumn trees were shimmering. Autumn is my all-time favourite season and it felt fitting that we’d be welcoming our baby boy on a perfect golden morning. 

We arrived at the hospital, parked our car, and headed in to wait for our ‘slot’. 

The birth

Recalling the stages of preparation ahead—and the movements on the day—of, Luca’s birth is taking me right back there. I can feel the flow of excitement and nerves. 

There were two other planned caesareans booked for the same morning, and we were told that ours would be second of the day. 

We were shown to a ward, and given a bed by the window. There was an incredible view of large autumn trees and I felt once more like nature was conspiring to welcome Luca on an especially beautiful day. Helen arrived shortly after we did. We shared a big hug, and it felt like no time at all before we were given our scrubs to change in to. 

At some point Laura, the surgeon due to perform my caesarean, popped in to say hello. She was lovely, and I felt calm and safe in her hands. I also met my anaesthetist, another warm, kind woman. Our care team was widening and I thanked our lucky stars to be surrounded by people who all felt genuinely invested in our family.

Vaginal Seeding

Skip this section if you’re a little squeamish haha!

When babies are born via a vaginal birth, they collect ‘contact bacteria’ which helps to build their microbiome and bolster their immune system. I was acutely aware that by opting for a caesarean birth this step would be missed. Upon airing my concerns, Helen mentioned ‘vaginal seeding’ to me.

Vaginal seeding involves inserting a sterile gauze, as you would a tampon, about an hour before the birth. The gauze is then removed and kept in a sterile container. Once the baby is born, the gauze is wiped over the baby's mouth so that they can take on as much of the ‘good bacteria’ as possible. 

NGL, this was one of the most uncomfortable bits of the whole day. The gauze was dry, grim, and awkward to insert. I’m glad I opted to do this for Luca’s health. Equally, if someone could invent a more comfortable way of performing vaginal seeding, that would be great haha. 

Heading into theatre

Around 9.30am, we were told that it was time for us to walk down to theatre. 

Have you ever seen a photo of someone’s aura? Google it, it’s fun! An aura photo places the subject in the middle, and there’s a glow of colour—their aura—around them. Heading down to theatre, I felt like a walking aura photo. Deeply present, surrounded by a protective glow. It was surreal and magic and I don’t think anything else will ever feel quite like it. I cupped my hands around my bump, connecting with Luca and reassuring us both. 

A few weeks before Luca’s birth I had a tour of the theatre. This was a HUGE help to me, as I was able to visualise the space before the day itself. Having a sense of the physical area allowed me feel more comfortable (I wasn’t entering somewhere completely new-to-me), and I was able to practice visualisations ahead of time. 

I also went over the process of the operation itself multiple times with Helen, Katrina, my consultant . . . anyone I could ask haha. Although I was completely new to this, many elements didn’t feel unexpected.

Anaesthetic

This was one of the things I was most concerned about ahead of the operation. I’d never had an op before, and the thought of having an anaesthetic felt scary. 

I’m happy to report that the process, in my experience, was calm, painless and I felt thoroughly well taken care of throughout. 

As I mentioned, I was blessed with an incredible anaesthetist. She had a calm and confident manner which made me feel at ease. The epidural was administered, and the efficacy of it was tested using a ‘cold spray’.

Oli and I were introduced to the team in the theatre. There was a paediatric team on hand for Luca, my surgeon Laura, and various assistants and nurses. An unexpected twist: our consultant, who’d flagged Luca’s Achondroplasia, entered the theatre and shared that he’d be performing the caesarean alongside Laura. To have our regular consultant there, as well as the rest of this amazing team, felt ‘full circle’ and once again I was reassured by the support around us. 

Our birth playlist

One thing we were in charge of, was the playlist! For weeks I’d been assembling songs, favourites of both mine and Oli. I played the playlist on repeat ahead of Luca’s birth, hoping that it would help his transition into the world . . . if he recognised the songs, maybe it wouldn’t feel so scary for him?! 

To this day, if I play the playlist to him, I swear there’s some recognition!

As soon as I heard the first song start to play, I felt a rush of emotion. At this point I was sat on the edge of the operating bed, and Katrina clocked it right away. She came over to reassure me. Oli then gently pulled my hair back into a ponytail.

Anaesthetic administered, and final reassurances given, we were ready to meet Luca. 

Luca

This part of the birth is a blend of vivid and hazy memories. To say it’s wild to go through a caesarean truly skims the surface.

I opted to have a screen up throughout the operation, so I didn’t see any of the procedure happening. The screen was placed above my bump, and the theatre team kept Oli and I informed throughout.

Oli was sat on the right hand side of me, close to my head. He held my hand throughout the birth, and we chatted to one another, kissed . . . it was one of the closest bonding experiences we’ve ever been through. Having Oli there with me was the greatest comfort, I felt like all three of us—me, Oli and Luca—were all ‘in it’ together!

About 10 minutes had passed, when Laura gave us the news we’d been so so eager to hear—“he’s here”!

Almost instantly, we heard Luca cry. 

A round of cheers and applause erupted in the room.

Helen subsequently told us that when Luca was born, she vividly recalls everyone smiling and leaning closer to take a look at our Luca Love!

After all these months of growing, waiting, surprises . . . 

Luca was here!!!

I will never forget the relief and joy at hearing that cry. Luca was lifted into the world, and immediately brought to us for a kiss.

Oli wiped the seeding gauze across Luca’s mouth. He was then whisked away by the paediatric team for extra love, care and attention.

The balance of the caesarean + initial recovery

Once Luca was safely in the world, the balance of my caesarean was performed. I hadn’t appreciated that this would be the longest part of the operation. At times it was uncomfortable, and I had to ask for more pain relief. This was administered very quickly, and I felt a heady rush of comfort. I felt—and, according to Oli looked—very spaced out.

After about 40 minutes total, the operation was complete. I was transferred to a bed and taken back to a bay to begin my recovery. At this point Luca was already in the NICU, which we were prepared for. Knowing that our son was Earth-side, and already being taken such brilliant care of, gave me an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness. 

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I’ll leave Luca’s birth story there. As Luca’s first birthday came round last weekend, I was conscious that among all of the celebrations, it was also our shared ‘birth day’. I’m so grateful that the sensation I have when I reflect on this is peace.

Though a planned caesarean wasn’t the birth route I had originally envisaged for myself and Luca, I had the most calm, love-filled experience that I cherish. Looking ahead, should Oli and I be blessed with more children, at this moment in time, I would opt for a planned caesarean again. 

If you are currently thinking about an elective caesarean, you have any questions, or you have thoughts you’d like to share, please leave them below.

Thank you infinite times over to the care team who guided us all ahead of, during and after Luca’s birth.

Thank you also to our wonderful friend Charlotte Bryer-Ash for the pregnancy photo shoot, shot just a few days before Luca’s arrival 💗 some of our most treasured photos ever ever.

With love, Monica x